If you look up the word painful in the dictionary, you get this:
I want to thank my wife for standing by me, through thick and thin. Uh, my mom’s watching from heaven, I want to thank her for being willing to divorce an abusive husband.
Ummm … thanks for sharing?
I want to thank my daughters for, uh, uh, uh you know, for being such great, uh, members of our family.
I want to thank my daughters for, you know … [four seconds of awkward “ums”] … well, something something it wasn’t that important anyway. I’d like to thank our dog for not shitting in the house for something like a week now. That was pretty cool.
Four years ago my mom was in [unintelligible] and called me a good boy and I ran a campaign of getting the state back to work.
And my fifth grade teacher, can’t remember her name, but pretty sure she winked at me in class one time. That was like calling me a good boy.
I like being called a good boy.
Oh yeah, and then I ran for governor.
700,000 jobs over seven years. We’re on a roll.
Except I’ve only been governor for three-and-a-half. (And this.)
It is an honor being your governor. It is a great honor.
Did I mention it’s an honor? Because it is. An honor, that is.
I’d love to get your yote. I tell you I’ll do everything I can to make sure that this is the state where you can live your version of the American Dream.
You want to shoot a black kid carrying Skittles in the wrong part of town? Who am I to stand in the way of your version of the American Dream?
You want to exploit workers by keeping the minimum wage down? Why, that’s my version of the American Dream too!
p.s. If you are black or uninsured, your versions of the American Dream don’t count.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Let me croak out something that CSPAN can charitably close caption as “speaking Spanish,” because if I mangle this proud, beautiful language it will show I’m down with the brown people, particularly the ones who don’t go around menacing society with Skittles. Just ignore my stumbling over and inability to properly pronounce the word “Florida.” It’s not an important word anyway.
Great to be here.
So a quick explainer—we tried to endorse Charlie Crist, and his campaign wanted the endorsement, but their lawyers’ reading of state law indicated they weren’t legally allowed to raise money via ActBlue. So if you want to give to his campaign, you can do so at his website. But Democrats are poised to make major gains in governorships. You can check out our endorsed gubernatorial candidates here. DC will remain gridlocked no matter who wins the Senate, but we pick up governorships, we can make serious policy gains at the state level. Don’t sit on the sidelines.
(Via.)
