This week’s source material:
Those who run watchdog news websites are scratching their heads and trying to make sense of the latest data released by a California company that measures website traffic.
According to data for July through September, almost every major website – from WND to the Drudge Report and Breitbart – saw its rankings drop on Alexa.com while pro-government sites mostly went up.
1) No one gives a shit about Alexa. Seriously, no one. Well, except these guys apparently.
2) Alexa is in California? Mystery solved! It’s a commie plot.
Familiar names in alternative media like the Drudge Report, Breitbart, Infowars, the Blaze, Newsmax, WND, FoxNews.com, and the Daily Caller all saw their rankings plummet while sites such as NPR.org, the Daily Kos, Democracy Now!, Media Matters and ThinkProgress all rose in the rankings.
The only explanation is communism.
Alexa purports to measure the traffic of thousands of websites around the world and then assigns a ranking to each site. The lower the number the higher the ranking of the website.
The data can be important because it is used, along with that collected by a handful of similar companies like Comscore, Quantcast and Google Analytics, to determine placement of advertisements that websites rely on to pay the bills and keep running.
1) No one gives a shit about Alexa. Didn’t I already mention this? No advertiser gives a shit about Alexa, no Google network ad gives a shit about Alexa. You know who gives a shit about Alexa? No one, that’s who. Oh, except these jokers.
2) Still no one gives a shit about Alexa.
Tucker Carlson, founder of Washington, D.C.-based the Daily Caller, said the data being put out by Alexa doesn’t square with that being reported by his own analytics.
“We had 13,557,850 unique visitors in September,” Carlson told WND. “By comparison, we had 12,784,656 uniques in August, so Alexa would be wrong if they’re reading the data correctly.”
That would all be well and good if Alexa measured unique visitors. It doesn’t. It’s a relative ranking. Daily Caller could see increased traffic, yet drop in Alexa ratings if, say, Daily Kos sees an even bigger increase in traffic. That’s why no one gives a shit about Alexa. No one gives a shit about your relative rating. They care about how many eyeballs you reach and the demographics of those people. I’d actually forgotten Alexa existed, and hadn’t visited in probably 4-5 years, and guess what? I still haven’t gone back and visited, because smart people don’t give a shit about Alexa.
But hey, when there are ebola-infected commies under your bed, you’ve got to strike hard against the enemy when they attempt to damage your self-esteem by showing you the reality that liberal sites are growing relative to the rest of the web, and conservative sites — like their movement — are stagnating. It’s hard to keep those irrelevant Alexa ratings up when your base is dying off by the month. So don’t worry conservative sites with falling Alexa ratings! No one gives a shit about your Alexa ratings! The fact that you’ve only won more votes in one of the last five presidential elections? Now that’s something we can heartily point to and laugh.
But how hurt is their self-esteem? Head below the fold and find out.
